I know from the Emails that we receive at Snotsykim Headquarters that many of you feel guilty for enjoying these pages totally free of charge. Purely to help you sleep at night we are proud to introduce our new and exciting charging structure! Here are the scale of charges:
Laughs: FREE
Erections: 1p per inch
Orgasms*: 20p each
Some of the more technologically alert among you may wonder how we will be monitoring your activities and collecting the cash. Well, the answer is in our new, revolutionary product which is unlike anything ever seen before - being neither hardware nor software - it is fluffware. Here's how it works: the fluffware is synthesised insitu by our unique 'entangled agent' ( those of you familiar with quantum mechanics will be aware of entanglement which allows instantaneous action at great distances ) The fluffware duly migrates to your belly button - if you have ever contemplated your navel and thought "where the hell did that come from?" you have probably already encountered our Beta Version. When sexually stimulated you may also have noticed a tingle in your belly button - that's what the fluffware monitors. It then surreptitiously removes the loose change from your pockets and hides it down the back of the sofa. From there it is transferred to our bank account in a manner too complicated for you to understand ( basically we come round at night )
To ensure you are not overcharged, please stare at the following picture for ten seconds then press the button:
*Quantitty discounts may be available by negotiation