ERNIE

Here at SNOTSYKIMS we pride ourselves on the fact that:

• All Humorous Items ("HIs") are prepared in accordance with ISO 9000 and Sub Clause 17B of the Ninth Volume of the Strasbourg Euro Directive (Not be confused with the Euro, which is a currency and is a different class of HI )
• All HIs are prepared by highly trained Humour Persons in our own workshops
• All HIs are subjected to rigorous Quality Control to ensure that they perform properly 24 hours per day - not just when the user is partially inebriated

Unfortunately, despite the above attention to detail, there may be occasions when an HI fails to function as expected. If this should happen please take the following steps:

1. Place the offending HI in the bottom of a large bucket - plastic or metal at your option
2. Fill the bucket with cold water to the brim and place it in a refrigerator for one hour
3. Carefully retrieve the HI with your teeth while spilling as little water as possible
4. Re-test the HI. If it fails to function properly, repeat the above exercise as often as necessary ( See Example )

And now let us continue with our tribute to a man who made millions convulse with the aid of three large round anatomical objects - all of about the same size - two held in an item of clothing and one holding a pair of spectacles. I refer of course, to Mr Benjamin Hill, late of England. As well as being a comedian of note, Mr Hill, or Bennie, as he was known to millions, also topped the charts in the 70's with a humorous ditty which contained the following immortal lines:

"D'you want it pasteurised my dear?"
"Ernie" she said "I'd be happy if it came up to my chest"
"And that tickled Old Ernie ...."

Not only did he give harmless amusement to millions of gentlemen worldwide he also caused immense irritation to millions of feminists as well. A challenge which both Beethoven and Goethe failed to meet. Can you imagine Bill ( shit eating grin ) and Hillary ( lemon in mouth ) watching Bennie Hill on TV? I think not.
If Bennie were still with us today I'm sure he would have taken a careful look at this page and said "What a load of bollocks"

But enough diversion. ERNIE of course, also stands for Electronic Random Number Indicating Enumerator and is the name for the device introduced during the 60's to choose winning premium bonds in the UK. It did this by utilising the fact that the emission of Alpha Particles in a radioactive source is essentially random. Such particles can easily be tracked in a cloud chamber

Alpha Particle Track in Cloud Chamber
Further Examples of this phenomenon are illustrated below:

• experiment2
• experiment3
• experiment4
• experiment5
• experiment6
• experiment7
• experiment8
• experiment9
• post_experiment

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